Just about a year ago my little family and I were packing up to move to Flagstaff. I was juggling getting our life in order to move to another state, rushing to final Drs and dentists visits in between transferring documents, packing our apartment and trying to spend every extra waking moment with my friends and family. My emotions were raw. In the midst of it though I knew that we were doing the right thing. As hard as it was I knew this was our next step.
Flash forward to a year later and life has settled down. Routines have been established and friends made. Favorite coffee shops discovered and the quickest way to get around town nailed down. This year has brought about a lot of change, not just in zip codes but in me personally. As I was packing to leave I remember thinking that I was going to a place where no one but a very small handful of people knew me. No one had expectations of me. I wasn't the pastors daughter, I wasn't the worship leader, I wasn't the women's ministry helper or small group leader. I was just the new girl. When I got here I immediately started trying to find ways to be who I'd always been, desperately seeking to refill the roles and titles I held in California. The only problem was that wasn't the Lords plan. I soon found myself, sad and confused. Things weren't falling into place like I hoped. Even as I got what I thought was the right thing I felt anxious and unsettled. I felt like I was wearing shoes that didn't fit properly. Sure I could walk in them but something was off and eventually it started to cause more pain. I suddenly had this overwhelming urge to stop, take a step back and just look. When I did the Lord met me and until recently l couldn't put it into words. Then I heard a song by Lauren Daigel and as she sang I felt the words finally take form. My prayer the last few months, even before I knew how to utter it was simply "Who do YOU say that I am Lord?
There are the things we see in scripture but beyond that, in my day to day. Who do YOU say that I am? Not who I think I should be? Or even what I used to be. Today, in this season, who do YOU say that I am Lord? The picture is starting to come together and can I tell you it's not what I expected and a lot of it is outside my comfort zone. I soon realized that unlike we are taught in school, our Christian walk isn't a path that is marked in permanency. Sure, our salvation is secure, our identity in Christ remains unchanged but as we go through life other things inevitable change. At thirty years old this it was the first time that who I was had changed dramatically. Here's the cool thing, all the things I had learned being all those things in California have still been put to use here. The skills and practical things, the spiritual lessons I walked through, they weren't for nothing. They were the stepping stones to this new season. Just like how someday I will probably look back on this time as the stepping stones to something else new.
So today I want to encourage you, maybe you are in a season and you know you are doing exactly what your are supposed to be, serving where you are supposed to, and it's good, keep on keeping on! Maybe there are some of you that are trying to walk in that shoe that isn't the right fit. Perhaps it's time to stop and ask...Who do YOU say that I am Lord? The answer might surprise you. The journey may be uncomfortable but remember the journey is just that...a journey. Someday we will stand on the other side and look at it in completion and see all those changes and new seasons created something beautiful that was all apart of who HE says we are.